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Parental Role with Practice

Parental Role 1Certainly the most advantageous teaching situation is one wherein the teacher, student and parent work in concert. I’ve had several inquiries from parents on what they can do at home to best help their child progress in their lessons, and I want to help more clearly define the role of the parent with these general suggestions.

1. Help find the best time of day for practice, and encourage consistency.

2. Be interested and involved in your student’s practice routine and process, as well as their inner experience.

3. Ensure they are following what is outlined in the practice chart – especially the weekly FOCUS – and that they keep careful track of their practice by marking their chart daily.

4. Ensure they are using a timer, metronome, and are practicing slowly and carefully, making the most out of their practice time.

5. Help your student enjoy making music by praising what they are doing well and offering enthusiasm and encouragement.

When Practice is Difficult:

1. Offer Praise Not Pressure – keep practice-time light by being supporting and loving even when they are accomplishing small feats. Tell them how much you enjoy listening.

2. Ask Them For Their Input – do they need/want more help from you, or less? Let it be the student’s project, but let them know you’re always on their side.

3. Find New Motivation – take your student to a live classical performance, listen to inspiring music from great artists, encourage them to read about inspiring musicians, suggest they play music with a friend.

4. Create Practice Incentives – sometimes practice incentives or rewards, especially for small children, can get them back on track or over a hump.

5. Set a Goal – provides focus & direction, and accomplishment & reward in the present (rather than some future date) as they make even slight gains. Create smaller goals within a larger goal until momentum is regained.

6. Find Best Time/Place – if your student is having trouble focusing, try two shorter practice periods, or a different time of day. Find a quiet room, or a different setting, away from interruptions, siblings, radio, tv, phones etc.

7. Change up the norm– E.g. Make up a story about what your song is trying to express. Play dramatic extremes. Try to bring back some fun.

These are excerpts from ‘The Practice Revolution’ by Philip Johnston, which is filled with wonderful guidance on how best to work with your child.

1. Be Interested

The single best thing parents can do to help their child practice is to be genuinely interested in what’s going on with their music lessons. To be hungry to find out what happened in the last lesson, and how their child plans on being ready for the next one. To want to know how the flute fits together, or how to apply rosin to the bow, or which hand pushes those buttons on the trumpet. And what that left pedal on the piano is called. What’s the highest note their child can play? How fast is that new study supposed to be? What are they most looking forward to showing off at your next lesson? How is their child feeling about their next recital? What made them decide to choose to play this piece? Which scale do they hate the most and why? Which composer do they enjoy playing most? What do they mess up most often in lessons? Such questions can happen in the car, at the dinner table, straight after lessons, while they’re getting their kid dressed for school, at the checkout at the supermarket…wherever. But they should happen a lot. Parents who ask questions like this won’t have to feign fascination—they’ll end up with greater insights into what their child is doing, and in turn be more interested as to how things are progressing. Most children are delighted to be the center of their parent’s attention, and will tend to view favorably any activity that thrusts them into the limelight like that. If music lessons can feature on that list of positive attention-getters, then a large part of the practice battle has been won already.

2. Encourage

Parents don’t need to be gushing over every correct quarter note, but calculated positive feedback from parents is a great way of reinforcing behavior. The logic is that if the parent catches their child doing something right, and then praises them for it, the child is likely to want to repeat that behavior in the future. This can be even more effective if the parent is well-versed in which issues the teacher is trying to develop, allowing for selective targeting of such praise. So if the problem for the past few months has been that the student practices too fast, the next time the parent hears a passage of slow practice—however fleeting—they should pop in and mention to the student how careful their practice is sounding. They can also keep an ear out for when the student may be sounding frustrated with what they are doing—not so they can sweep in and fix the problem, but just so the child knows that there is someone in their corner. Depending on the situation, they can gently encourage the child to try the section a couple more times, or try it a different way, or try a different section altogether, or even to take a break for a while and come back later. The point is that when the child battles with practicing demons, they do so with support, and with plenty of encouragement to persist.

3. Reflect

At the heart of successful practice is the need for students to understand exactly what they are trying to achieve in the week ahead—well before they start the first practice session. This means that instructions from the teacher, and feedback during the lesson are more important than ever. Parents can ensure that the communication between studio and home is complete by having the student reflect back to them the essential information for the week ahead. The student should be able to explain exactly what their tasks are, together with the practice techniques that were recommended to complete them. They should also be able to answer questions about key points that were raised last lesson, together with any details of upcoming deadlines or performances. The questions from the parent are designed to help the student cement their understanding of what’s required, and are probably best conducted as soon after the lesson as possible (in the car on the way home is ideal!). It’s also useful to pop into practice sessions at random and have the student outline again what their goals for the week are…that way, if the practicing has been wandering from the task at hand, the student will be gently reminded to get their eye back on the ball, without anyone having to ask.

4. Steer

Even when kids are completely clear on what their goals are for the week, and have a comprehensive list of practice techniques to use to pursue those goals, they can sometimes be confused as to how to organize it all. Sometimes three pieces, five scales and some theory papers can feel like a lot, and a little help from parents can go a long way. The parents can’t actually do the practice for them, but they can help the child work out how many practice sessions will happen, when they will take place, and how long will be available for each one. Once that’s been done, they can build together a plan for getting everything done. Parents can also keep an eye on the practice sessions themselves, keeping a look out for any obvious appearances of the common practice flaws outlined earlier in this book. For example, if they hear the student spending twenty minutes on a section that they can already play, it’s time to go in and tell the student that the section already sounds great, and that they could be done practicing sooner if they concentrated on tasks for the week that they haven’t mastered yet.

5. Enthuse

While praise can be useful for reinforcing what a student is already doing, being enthusiastic can help motivate students to be excited about things they haven’t even started yet—affecting practice sessions that may not take place for months, or even years. So for example, the parent and child might be listening to an advanced violin sonata on the radio in the car, and the parent might turn to the child and tell them: “You know what’s really exciting? I love listening to this piece, but if things keep going the way they have been, by the time you finish high school, you’ll probably be able to play it! Probably only one person out of every ten thousand who start violin lessons are strong enough inside to make it that far—when I tell you I’m proud of what you did in your lesson today, I’m not kidding.” It’s over the top. But it’s entirely appropriate, because coming from mom or dad, words like that can ring in the child’s ears long after the conversation ends. Parents can enthuse about the new piece their kid has been given. They can enthuse about the fact that their child has almost finished their new book, and may even get through it all before the holidays. They can enthuse about the new instrument their child now has. They can enthuse about how much everyone applauded at the student concert, and how their child was one of the few to play from memory. And the best thing about these various moments of enthusing? They don’t have to be done to the student. They just need to be said within earshot of the student. (In fact, such enthusing will have its greatest credibility and impact if the child believes they were not supposed to hear what was said). So if the parent’s little aside was about how little Matthew is playing so well that it won’t be long before he is playing some Beethoven, don’t be surprised if little Matthew requests some Beethoven in a future lesson. Why? Because being able to play Beethoven is obviously a yardstick for being musically grown up—they know, because they heard their parent say so once. As a mere teacher, no superlatives we may deliver about Beethoven would count as much as that.

6. Progress Checks

With the practice model being based around the student having specific jobs to do, rather than practicing for a set time, knowing whether or not they are ready for their next lesson is more important for students than ever before. Students need to know early in the week if they are starting to fall behind, so that the lesson itself doesn’t sneak up and ambush them—a week can go by awfully quickly if they’re not paying attention. One of the best ways to assess progress is with a couple of well-spaced midweek Checkpoints, and the parent is the perfect audience for the student to show off what they’ve accomplished up until that point. The whole process is similar to the regular inspections that take place on building sites to ensure that the job is running to schedule. So if the student’s job was to learn two pages of music, then by half way through the week, they should be able to play one of them. The check doesn’t exist so that the parent can lecture the student about keeping up. Even if the session reveals that the student is behind, all the response needs to be is a discussion about how to restructure the rest of the week to still meet the deadline—no mention needs to be made about the student having been sub-par at the beginning of the week, because there is absolutely nothing anybody can do to change that now. But there is plenty they can do in the remaining days to ensure that the bad start to the week simply won’t matter at the lesson. If all jobs are completed, as the teacher, you shouldn’t care at all that they had taken things easy for the first three days of the week. This restructuring is not just a conversation about how to fit in extra practice sessions. It should also target how the student is planning on practicing. Often students fall behind because the way they are practicing is not working, not because they are spending insufficient time in the practice room. The parent can go through the list of suggested practice techniques, and help the child look for alternatives to the one they had been using. For those teachers who have their own studio website, midweek checks can also allow students to call for help between lessons—long before the problem grows into a big one. The thirty seconds it takes you to quickly send some advice in response to your student’s help request can transform the thirty minutes of the next lesson, and will be greatly appreciated by parents.

7. Knowing When Not to Help

Sometimes the best help is not to help at all. Some students work best when they are given room to move, and will actively resent parents leaping in with solutions for every practice problem they face. If a student is undergoing temporary difficulties in their relationship with the parent concerned, they may also undergo temporary difficulties with their music lessons if the parent tries to involve themselves in the practice process. (The same student would probably have temporary difficulties with chocolate ice-cream if that same parent announced that they really should start eating some.) Independently of the state of the relationship between parent and child, as students become more autonomous with their practice, the parental involvement model moves gently from helping regularly to simply being available should the student need it. But no matter how independent the practicing becomes, parents continue to set the enthusiasm levels with their own attitudes towards what is happening in music lessons. It can be as simple as eye-contact and a small nod at the end of an obviously good lesson. Parents don’t need to compose a sonnet for their kids to know that they are proud. And they don’t have to be sitting on the piano stool with their kids for every second of practice for the child to feel thoroughly supported, and to feel that the excitement surrounding their progress in lessons is being shared.

The following is an excerpt from ‘How to Get Your Child to Practice… Without Resorting to Violence’ by C. Richards.

“For children, leaving any rewards of practice to be realized only when they finally begin making music sound beautiful may be one of the things that causes such a high drop-out rate among children studying music. Each step of progress should be congratulated and enthusiasm for work on the next step encouraged.

While an adult might be able to wait for results, a child must realize some kind of return for efforts now. That is why it is important for parents and teachers to set specific goals in music study which can be realized by the child, preferably within the practice period itself, or no later than the next lesson.

Once the time for practice is decided, it should be upheld, and practicing should become as much a part of the daily routine as eating meals. When it becomes a habit, an expected part of the day, a part of life, there is no room for argument. The mere presence of a structured routine is conducive to motivation. If practicing is left to be done whenever the child feels like it, it is too easy to be distracted from it, and then the parent starts to nag. Parents, too, must be careful to give practicing top priority during the designated practice time, not allowing other chores or responsibilities to interfere…If the child senses the importance of practicing and receives encouragement in upholding the time commitment, he or she will usually not question what is expected for that period, even though at times the motivation may be weak…Teachers understand that life is not always stable and that occasional bad practice weeks must be tolerated or even expected. But the child learns to judge the importance of practicing by how lightly it can be set aside.

I would not give my own children a choice as to whether or not they were going to brush their teeth. In terms of basic education, why should the study of music be any different than that of math or language or science? Children are not the best judges of what is good for them. However, you can lead children into wanting music by giving them many musical experiences in early childhood.”

Recommended Reading

1. ‘The Practice Revolution’ by Philip Johnston

2. ‘How to Get Your Child to Practice…Without Resorting to Violence’ (Ideas and suggestions to overcome the negative image of practicing. Ideal for frustrated parents.) by C. Richards.

3. ‘I Love to Practice’ (63 Games and activities designed to help in practice sessions.)’ by P. Steiner & Y. Halls

Posted on Friday, April 23rd, 2010 at 1:20 pm. Follow the comments via the RSS feed.

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